Anyway, here's another piece from what I've decided to call "A Stolen Summer". Evan has just returned from Afghanistan and is phoning his girlfriend, Katy. I think the conversation pretty much sums up the state of their relationship.
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I couldn’t be arsed to break up with Katy, not at the moment. It was too much effort. It seemed easier just to let things bump along for a little while longer. I punched in her number and waited, staring at the photograph of the two of us on the shelf.
“Hello?”
“Hi.”
She was smiling in the picture. It had been taken while we were on holiday in Paris. It was a cold day, I had my arm around her waist. Her pale blonde hair blew in fine wisps across her face. It was a long time ago, back when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
“You’re back.” There was a false brightness to her voice.
“Yup.” I wondered whether I should ask her to dinner or something. Instead, I waited.
“So.” A gusty little sigh. “Are you doing anything tonight?” She only asked the question because it was expected of her. It was the same every bloody time.
“I didn’t have anything planned. Fancy going out for a meal?” Translation: Fancy having something to eat and going back to your place for a shag? It had been a while. My penis twitched a little. I didn’t really want Katy, but it clearly did. I was too tired to argue.
“Yea, okay. Where?”
I glanced up at the ceiling and went through my list of venues. “How about Le Petit Filet?” It was only a few streets away from hers. We could meet there, eat, back to her place, shag. Pretend we still liked each other. The usual.
“That’s fine. Eight o’clock?”
“I’ll see you there.”
“Brilliant. You can tell me all about your trip.” She made it sound like I was going to tell her about a holiday. I doubted she really wanted to hear the nitty gritty. Katy’s idea of current events revolved around the gossip columns in the papers. I wondered how we’d limped along for three years.
“If you like.” I was already thinking beyond the phone call. I was thinking about lunch and the bottle of beer in the fridge. “I’ll see you at eight.” I tried to smile.
“Bye.” The line went dead. I put the phone down and headed for the kitchen.
WAIT--WHERE'S THE OTHER BOY??? lol....This is so different from your usual stuff--it really seems like you're having fun! I love how he's all planning out his quick shag with the minimal amount of effort--so very true to life! Nice foray into your male MC's head! :)
ReplyDeleteThe shag sounds either fun or traumatic, lol. Great tease.
ReplyDeleteIt's always so fun for me to read your stuff with the British slang. LOL Makes me giggle a little. Aside from that I liked it. The male perspective you use is realistic and 'spot on' LOL Looks like this one is going well. Can't wait to read MORE..
ReplyDeleteGotta agree with Hound here. You sound like you're having a lot of fun writing this one, and it really comes through. You totally captured that weary relationship-with-someone-you-don't-like feeling. Excellent!
ReplyDeleteOh, I love the voice of this: modern and wonderfully Brit-slangy, very world-weary, but there's something so earnest about it, too. Totally compelling. You've got the tone of weary relationship-obligation down very nicely, too. :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha, and the wang takes over...brilliant. Honestly, just coming out of that very kind of relationship, I can absolutely identify with Evan totally love the realism in his emotions which makes them so down to earth and completely understandable. I'm stoked to see where this is going :)
ReplyDeleteI am just getting around to checking some teasers (a few days late - ha). This is really great. Your voice is so very real. Your command of 1st person is really good - I can tell you're having fun with it. Keep going (like anyone could stop you) and keep posting!
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