Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Tuesday angst.

Well, it was either post a rant against US Immigration or post another Teaser.

I decided on the latter. It's another scene from 'Through the Mist' which is still rough and ready.
It's a pivotal scene full of angst and other good stuff, because I loves my angst.

The journey is nearly at an end for Katya and Andrew.


Rakaposhi loomed over Minapin like a monolith. The afternoon sun turned the snowy flanks to blinding silver and it hurt Katya’s eyes to look at it. The Rest House was a small bungalow set in the midst of a garden brilliant with flowers. Trees shaded the lawn and the veranda looked towards Rakaposhi.

“It’s beautiful here.” Katya said as they shared a bench in the garden, after dinner. The evening sun turned the snow to a sheet of soft copper. The mountains were full of violet shadows. Birds squabbled in the trees and on the lawn.

“It is.”

They shared a bowl of cherries, picked from a tree at the edge of the garden. The yellow fruit glowed softly in the fading light. Katya idly tied one of the stems into a knot and set it in the bowl alongside the growing pile of cherry pits.

“Will you miss this, Katya?”

“Yes.” She sighed and tried to imagine herself back at home. “Will you?”

“Yes.” He set the bowl of cherries on the grass. “I’ve travelled along this road a few times and this is the first time I’ve really sat and just enjoyed the peace.”

Katya felt his hand in her hair, a touch as light as a breeze. Something inside spun slowly when he edged closer. There was so little time left and she didn’t want to waste it. She rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes as his fingers wound through her hair. His sigh was warm against her skin, his hand soft on her face as it traced the line of her jaw and trailed along her cheekbones.

“Katya.” Andrew’s voice was a whisper. His lips followed where his hand had been, soft on her forehead, her eyelids, her cheekbones, gentle as mountain rain. Katya let her hand drift to his face. No one had kissed her like this. Her lips parted beneath his and his hands were more insistent, cradling her head, his fingers curled into her hair, thumbs brushing her cheeks. She kissed him back, he smelled of soap and of mountain air. His skin was warm in the cool evening, his stubble rough beneath her fingers.

Katya sighed as he drew her close. His hands glided to her waist. She put her arms around his neck and trembled when his tongue sought hers. She didn’t know that a man’s touch could reduce her to weakness, to languid warmth. He tasted of cherries, sweet and tart. Then, he was gone. A dream snatched away by a sudden awakening.

“God, Katya.” He pushed her away and stood up.

Katya shook as he strode away and leaned against the cherry tree, his face pressed against the trunk. “God, Katya, what have I done?” His voice was all agony and remorse.

She crept off the bench and across the short stretch of grass. “Andrew?” Katya put her hand on his shoulder.

He shrugged it off and turned to face her. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered. “I forgot myself, I got carried away. I forgot how young you are. Forgive me.”

The guilt in his eyes twisted in Katya’s gut like a dagger. “I’m sorry. I can’t help that.” She clenched her jaw, willing herself not to cry or beg. “I didn’t choose when I was to be born. I didn’t choose any of this.”

“I know…What I did…was unforgiveable.”

Katya shook her head. “No, it wasn’t. Not to me, anyway.” It would’ve been so easy to tell him that she loved him. She wanted to beg forgiveness for her youth, for the ten years between them. It didn’t matter to her but to him it was a huge, dark chasm. “It was wonderful.”

He looked up into the shifting, restless canopy of the tree.”It was, but it was wrong.”

Pain spread through her, uncoiling in a slow and terrible burn. Katya dashed her fist across her eyes. “It didn’t feel wrong to me.” Her breath caught in her throat, her tears were close and she didn’t want him to see her cry. She already knew how much she had hurt him, frightened him. “It was never wrong.” She turned and walked away, wanting the refuge of her room, wanting nothing but to give in to her tears.

“Katya! Wait!”

“No… leave me alone. It’s all wrong, I’m all wrong.” She ran towards the house, through the shadowed hall and into her room. Katya flung herself onto the bed, buried her face in her pillow and wept. She curled up into a tight knot of pain. The memory of his touch was like fire, she closed her eyes and felt his lips on hers. He had given her something that she could never forget.


  1. Wow, this is so full of awesome. I love, love the way you utilize the landscape to heighten the tension and the scene grows darker and more ominous towards the close. There is a subtlety here that I appreciate and admire. All that emotion shines through in a way that is true and real. Good stuff.

  2. This is truly wrenching: you nailed the angsty-young-love feeling here. This is so wonderfully sense-heavy. Awesome!

  3. awwww!

    You've done an awesome job with this scene conveying the mixed emotions of both characters. Very touching and very emotional. Great job!

  4. Truly lovely with some fabulous description and imagery. You are the queen of romantic scenes, most definitely.

  5. Oh, Fire, I love the contrast with how you view this scene and how I viewed my own similar scene. Your vision is all soft and full of swooning romance, with the glistening mountains and the sweet/tart cherries. Mine is all awkward hillbilly fumbling.

    Same regrets, though, and same self-recriminations. *sigh*

  6. Love it! You totally nailed her emotions. Plus, you gave us so much sensory stimulation--awesome.

    I was a tad distracted by the way the snow looked silvery and then coppery in the first few paras, but I'm weird that way. Lol.

    Such an intense, great scene! Oh, and loved htis line:

    A dream snatched away by a sudden awakening.

  7. I'm having a really angsty summer & fall, so I loved the angst. It was perfect for my mental state! You do angst so well!

  8. Hey, I just read your post on Miss Snark's First Victim. What gives with you having to leave the US? And do you love Arizona more now that you've lived there a while, or do you still feel "stranded" there? Hope you get to stay....

  9. Laura, we had our Adjustment of Status application denied and, subsequently, our appeal. Apparently, we have no right to a Hearing before a Judge, so, unless a miracle happens, we have to be out of the US by December 18th.

  10. Sue, what I love about your writing, besides the lush imagery, is how you manage to convey nuance. They both feel like victims here, and yet there is conflict. Not easy to do at all. My hat's tipped to you, lady.