tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8849265595241988339.post9050744241644442950..comments2024-01-17T03:11:49.030-08:00Comments on kestrel rising: Teaser Tuesday - The Newlyweds receive a callersue laybournhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14549268075528924978noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8849265595241988339.post-1430700723294584402010-02-09T16:16:09.069-08:002010-02-09T16:16:09.069-08:00I loved this. There's something so sweet and i...I loved this. There's something so sweet and intimate about the idea of her cutting his hair and I loved the dialogue which just seemed perfect.Kathleenhttp://stopdropandplot.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8849265595241988339.post-16978154481790509832010-02-09T13:54:44.827-08:002010-02-09T13:54:44.827-08:00I love Angharad and Fin! I like to imagine what ha...I love Angharad and Fin! I like to imagine what happens in between the teasers, which I think is a sign that I need to beg to beta read the full novel. :)Parametrichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04253928288479596268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8849265595241988339.post-7461983636889219712010-02-09T11:49:44.810-08:002010-02-09T11:49:44.810-08:00Oh, I likethat idea, Fire. I also loved the relat...Oh, I likethat idea, Fire. I also loved the relationship between the couple, tho--lovely. And nice descriptions as always. But I did feel like I was left out in the cold a little as to their reactions to the baddie--like you said, I think making that moment bigger would really make that part pop more.<br /><br />Beautiful writing, as always. :)houndrathttp://www.houndrat.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8849265595241988339.post-56365867225074637792010-02-09T10:53:54.029-08:002010-02-09T10:53:54.029-08:00Thanks everyone for your comments!
Aye, Gretchen,...Thanks everyone for your comments!<br /><br />Aye, Gretchen, that's a good point. I think wishing them to burn in hell then storming out doesn't cut it. He's clearly not happy but I'm thinking a bit more of a violent intent from both men might work here.sue laybournhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14549268075528924978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8849265595241988339.post-25294375167269630552010-02-09T10:44:01.274-08:002010-02-09T10:44:01.274-08:00Excellent relationship between husband and wife th...Excellent relationship between husband and wife though I'm not sure there is enough tension once Athelwulf enters to illicit their reactions. There are some repetitions of thoughts in that interaction (the one that comes to mind is that we hear Fin was left for dead at least twice). Athelwulf may be a total douche, but I think there needs to be a single explosive moment for the payoff to work in this scene.Gretchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09327185025020171674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8849265595241988339.post-57495138038416097382010-02-09T07:53:57.434-08:002010-02-09T07:53:57.434-08:00I really like Fin and the direction their relation...I really like Fin and the direction their relationship is going. You've created some great tension between them and Athelwulf.ChristaCarol Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02908423468344511136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8849265595241988339.post-21151363329918146412010-02-09T07:19:22.277-08:002010-02-09T07:19:22.277-08:00Haha, I loved the reference to shearing sheep and ...Haha, I loved the reference to shearing sheep and cutting Fin's hair and absolutely love the atmosphere and tension here between domesticity and memories/new threats. This definitely creates some intriguing character tension and I'm curious to see where this is going to go.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8849265595241988339.post-84648869823776448652010-02-09T06:12:59.011-08:002010-02-09T06:12:59.011-08:00Great scene! Very nice juxtaposition there between...Great scene! Very nice juxtaposition there between Angharad and Fin, versus her memories of her former husband and Athelwulf. There's a strong feeling of tension that remains.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8849265595241988339.post-15748191368569024562010-02-09T06:00:18.234-08:002010-02-09T06:00:18.234-08:00I love the quiet, comfortable feel between these t...I love the quiet, comfortable feel between these two, Sue. Romantic without being dramatic, very understated and eloquent. And Athelwulf is such a great villian. Can't wait to see what he does next!sunnahttp://amybai.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8849265595241988339.post-85498290929723462372010-02-09T05:39:53.462-08:002010-02-09T05:39:53.462-08:00wow great scene. first of all, love the set up of ...wow great scene. first of all, love the set up of the married couple's first newlywed days. i love the sweet way he kisses her when turning out the light for the night. it really makes a comfortable feeling for the scene and then bam - you drop some good action and conflict in there. i can really feel angharad's anguish. great job.Jennifer Walkuphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15441887850464334900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8849265595241988339.post-59963711947791431922010-02-08T23:51:52.921-08:002010-02-08T23:51:52.921-08:00Woo! I live! An not only do I live, I'm also c...Woo! I live! An not only do I live, I'm also commenting ( read every week, I just forget to make comments :))<br /><br />I don't really know what to say about this piece. It's so strong and really well paced. I enjoy how your writing seems to be about subtly and what's not said versus some writers (even those who are published) who beat you over the head with their point.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10228310208211135706noreply@blogger.com